higher self or ego?

How can I differentiate from my ego and my Higher Self? How do I know when an answer / idea comes who it is from?

Dear S. Blue,

First and foremost, get in touch with how you feel when thoughts are happening in your mind. This is a crucial step in beginning to identify where it’s coming from. A simple thing to remember is that if the thought induces fear, worry, lack or insecurity, it is ego. If the thought induces joy, expansiveness, possibility and excitement, it is usually your higher self.

Your higher self is never focused on the fears. Your higher self always has the bigger picture in mind. Therefore, when you are going through something that feels less than good and you are feeling bad because you need it to be different, the feeling bad is your ego, which comes from your subconscious triggers. Whereas, your higher self is always peaceful about the situation knowing the exact purpose and nature of the situation and where it will lead you.

Your ego carries many fears, doubts, insecurities, etc. Because of the things you learned as a child, your ego decided to believe a lot of things weren’t safe and that many things are to be feared. The ego does not do this out of malice or trying to keep you small, that’s not it’s intention. Its intention is to keep you safe and protected from all the things you fear might happen. So, if you don’t pursue something, if you stay small, the perceived fear is no longer a threat or a possibility. You must understand its purpose before you go shooing it away. That way, when you hear your ego trying to convince you that your fears are real, you can thank it for its intention to keep you safe but that you are going to decide on a new version of safety so that happiness can be experienced at a new level.

Secondly, meditate often. The more you can quiet your mind and listen into your energy, the more you will be familiar with what is what. You will experience a stillness, a quietness and a peace that resides within you that will be more attuned to your higher self rather than to your ego. When we are on autopilot, we automatically hear the ego because that’s the frequency that our autopilot resides. We are not in a place to be inquisitive of what we hear, we just take it as truth and ride the fear or worry all the way through to a panic or a lack of action. When we take time to meditate and tune inward for the pure intention of tuning into our energy, we are able to hear more clearly the voice of our higher self and our intuition because our inner being is where our higher self resides.

You will notice a contractive energy if it is from ego and you will notice a light, expansive energy if it is from your higher self.

Thirdly, journal often. If you are journaling out your thoughts, worries, fears and feelings when they arise, you are able to get a clearer sense of why they are coming up. You are able to truly understand why you feel a certain way and where it came from. More often than not, if you are gaining clarity through your journaling, you start to see how redundant of some of the things your ego is telling you. You start to understand its purpose and reasoning. You give it a break and you see it for what it is… a safety mechanism. Then you can journal out what you would want to be true for you, how you want to feel, how you want to think about something. From there, it becomes quite easy to feel the expansiveness of your higher self writing through you, the truth of who you are.

In terms of asking questions to your higher self. It will be the same thing! When you receive an answer, does it feel contractive or expansive? Is there fear coming up trying to keep you safe? Is there a sense of possibility, curiosity and wonder? In the sense of possibility and excitement, is it coupled with fear of what might happen if you decide a certain way? Is there a sense of dread?

For example, when weighing out two different important choices in your mind, you could feel an analysis paralysis being very unsure of which way to go. It is very uncomfortable. Should I, or shouldn’t I? Should I go here or there? Should I take this opportunity or that opportunity? Option A could be feeling very expansive, exciting however it could possibly also bring nervousness, fear of what could happen if it doesn’t work out or worry about what others might think. Option B could be dread of like “I really don’t want to do this but I feel I need to” or “This is the practical choice that I should take but deep down it’s not what I want” However, it could also bring safety, security and a lack of worry knowing it’s going to provide for you. In this example, it’s very clear to see that Option A is the one for you, but the ego tries to dismantle your excitement because it’s unfamiliar territory and it’s keeping you safe by trying to convince you of Option B which is a certain & secure option. You can clearly feel that Option A has a feeling of expansive possibility while Option B has the sense of obligation & stagnancy attached to it.

In another example, Option A could be super exciting, super expansive and feels so good but is coupled with a feeling in the pit of your stomach that’s saying, “No. this isn’t the right way to go.” I’m sure we’ve all been there where we wanted so desperately for something to work out but in all actuality, our inner beings are screaming DON’T DO THIS. And we listen to our overexcitement rather than our inner knowing and sure enough, it doesn’t work out! Option B could be like a feeling of “I know this is good for me, but my ego just wants to play and not deal with this” while coupled with the feeling in the pit of your stomach knowing that it will lead to long term happiness rather than short term satisfaction.

I know these examples seem very similar and you’re right! It can be a very subtle difference between the two examples, however, with practice you will be able to know the difference between your higher self’s YES and NO as well as your ego’s YES and NO. But it is a practice for sure. It takes much self-awareness, much trust and much listening. It can be a trial and error type deal where you might not be perfect in this decision process. Accept that and be okay with that as you are learning and growing. Any decision you make will always be for your highest good, even if it’s to take a chance and get it wrong. That is also in your highest good, as it provides you with the clarity of what it feels like to go against your intuition. So, you see, you can’t truly get it wrong because even in getting it wrong you are learning what the difference is. It is all divine. So, don’t put too much pressure on yourself!

In terms of ideas, when you are in alignment with your higher self you will receive ideas that just feel so expansive and joyful that you cannot resist taking action on them or jotting them down! Your higher self-communicates to you through excitement and giddiness! What makes you feel compelled, is what your higher self is guiding you toward. And the fears that hold up the action taking process is going to be the ego!

Do your best to be in alignment more of the time, be present more of the time, feel good and relaxed and chilled out more of the time. Then you will notice that the ideas popping in will feel like a natural flow of “go here, do this, do that” and it won’t feel dreadful to do, it will feel fun to do! There might be a bit of discomfort if the idea is something you don’t yet believe in yourself enough to accomplish, but the inner feeling will be one of excitement.

Kind of like before you send a text to that special someone that lets them know how you feel, it feels exciting yet nerve wracking! Or before a performer gets on stage to perform, exciting but nerve wracking!


  • Get quiet and pay attention to your feelings as they correspond to your thoughts. When thoughts make you feel bad, it is ego. When thoughts make you feel good, it is higher self.

  • Meditate often! This doesn’t have to be sitting cross-legged chanting OM… It can be sitting outside on a peaceful afternoon sitting in quiet time. It can be lying down listening to beautiful instrumental music finding the silence in your being. It can be anything that quiets your mind and tunes you into your inner being and your energy.

  • Journal it out so that you can get to know the patterns of thought that go on in your head, the irrational fears and worries and the redundant things your ego says on a moment to moment basis. You will get to know it pretty quickly!

  • Pay attention to how you feel when weighing different options or when an idea comes through!

Expansive feeling = Higher Self

Contractive feeling = Ego

  • Let it be a practice. Do not expect yourself to get it perfect. Expect to make divine mistakes here and there and intend to learn from them and how it felt. Be easy on yourself about the process.

  • Ask and pray to be able to hear your inner guidance more clearly more often.

  • Get familiar with what it feels like to go with or against your intuition.

  • Get familiar with past experiences. It will truly help you to identify the feelings of each and will also help you to identify the thought patterns that go on during each encounter with your intuition.

JOURNAL: What is one time I went against my intuition and it didn’t work out?

What did that feel like specifically in my body? What was I thinking and feeling?

What caused me to do it anyways?

JOURNAL: What is one time I went with my intuition and it did work out?

What did that feel like specifically in my body? What was I thinking and feeling?

What caused me to take the leap?

And of course, as always, if extra support is needed, I am always available for tarot readings and manifestation coaching to get you more equipped with the tools necessary to tune into yourself, tune into your alignment and therefore, manifest an extraordinary life!

Till next time,

Nichoel Ann